Four errors in Parenting
Says Abu Omar Yousef Bin Qurtubi Abdalber in his book collector statement and virtues of science:
"If the child remains fresh in front of jam while his upbringing, as manifested if the patient before the doctor when
Processed
, Taking into account his ability and temperament shall be the impact of education completed and the greatest fruit of "this saying of Ibn Abd al-Barr is
Basis
Treatment of adults with children ..
And different way of dealing with the child from one person to another and from child to child ...
From time to time ... We will review some wrong methods in dealing with the child to avoid them as much as
Possible
... These methods can be summarized in the following points:
First: rigor and intensity:
The scholars of education and psychologists this method most dangerous thing is the child if frequently used ...
Valhzm
Required in situations that require it, .. The violence and Fazeidan rigor complexity of the problem and exacerbate
; As
Excited breeder loses his temper and forget the dream and the open-minded child Vinhal Manva and Hatema him
Affiliations and harshest
Words, will be even worse if a century of violence and rigor beat ...
This is what happens in the case of emotional punishment of a child who loses the child a sense of security and confidence
Self as
Firmness and make the child afraid and respected educator at the time of the problem only (fear
Temporary)
But it does not prevent him from repeating the behavior in the future.
The accounts for adult cruelty to children that they are trying to push them to the ideal in behavior
And treatment and study.
. But this cruelty may backfire makrooh child study or refrain from carrying
Responsibilities or
Get a sense of apathy, as it will absorb severe neurological emotions adults Vijtsenh then begin their
Show
The future through the symptoms of neuroses caused by emotional conflict within the child ..
This may lead to frustration and conflict act in breach of (bad) and aggressive towards others or explosions
Acute anger that may occur for seemingly trivial reasons.
Secondly: auctioneer overload and tolerance:
This method of dealing no less dangerous than the cruelty and rigor .. Overvalued care and pampering
Will
Child is unable to form successful social relationships with others, or take responsibility and face
Life
... Because he did not pass enough experiences to learn from how to face the events that might be exposed to ... Does not mean
Parents to lose sympathy with the child and his mercy, and this can not be happening because their hearts Mvtoran love
Their children, and parental rooted emotions innate to protect him, and show compassion and pity and concern about it.
.. But this passion sometimes become the cause of the destruction of their children, where the parents deal with the child spoiled
Plus
And indulgence pretext paper hearts and their love for their child, making the child believe that everything is allowed and not
There's nothing forbidden
, Because that's what he finds in his small environment (home), but if they grew up and went to the big environment (community
) And faced the laws and regulations that would prevent him from committing certain acts, rebelled at her opposers
Blithely ... Throwing out the negative consequences Almkhafatth wall.
We do not demand that the parents of their hearts tend mercy on the contrary required Varahma, but
Balance and warned.
Said peace be upon him: "not one of us who did not have mercy on our young ones and knows the right of our old ones", would not it be us
Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him like?
Third: volatility in the transaction:
A child needs to know what is expected of him, so the adults to put simple systems and regulations
Logical
And child Icherhoha, and when it is convinced it will be easy for him to follow ... And must be reviewed
Systems with
Child and discussion of each period, it should not be lenient days in the application of the law and ignore it and then go back
The next day
To emphasize the need to apply the same law because this might cause confusion for the child and it is
Capable
Determine what is acceptable, what is unacceptable and in some cases the mother is stable at all times
While
Father contrary, and this volatility and differences between the parents, the child makes is under psychological pressure
Highly paid
To commit the error.
Fourth: lack of justice between the brothers:
Adults sometimes deals with brothers without justice prefer a child to child, for his intelligence or beauty or good
Created innate
, Or because he said, which is grown in the same child a sense of jealousy towards his brothers, and expresses these jealousy
Behavior
Wrong and aggressive toward Brother spoiled in order to take revenge on adults, and this Prophet warned us against
God
Him, where he said: Peace be upon him "Fear Allah and treat your children."
Says Abu Omar Yousef Bin Qurtubi Abdalber in his book collector statement and virtues of science:
"If the child remains fresh in front of jam while his upbringing, as manifested if the patient before the doctor when
Processed
, Taking into account his ability and temperament shall be the impact of education completed and the greatest fruit of "this saying of Ibn Abd al-Barr is
Basis
Treatment of adults with children ..
And different way of dealing with the child from one person to another and from child to child ...
From time to time ... We will review some wrong methods in dealing with the child to avoid them as much as
Possible
... These methods can be summarized in the following points:
First: rigor and intensity:
The scholars of education and psychologists this method most dangerous thing is the child if frequently used ...
Valhzm
Required in situations that require it, .. The violence and Fazeidan rigor complexity of the problem and exacerbate
; As
Excited breeder loses his temper and forget the dream and the open-minded child Vinhal Manva and Hatema him
Affiliations and harshest
Words, will be even worse if a century of violence and rigor beat ...
This is what happens in the case of emotional punishment of a child who loses the child a sense of security and confidence
Self as
Firmness and make the child afraid and respected educator at the time of the problem only (fear
Temporary)
But it does not prevent him from repeating the behavior in the future.
The accounts for adult cruelty to children that they are trying to push them to the ideal in behavior
And treatment and study.
. But this cruelty may backfire makrooh child study or refrain from carrying
Responsibilities or
Get a sense of apathy, as it will absorb severe neurological emotions adults Vijtsenh then begin their
Show
The future through the symptoms of neuroses caused by emotional conflict within the child ..
This may lead to frustration and conflict act in breach of (bad) and aggressive towards others or explosions
Acute anger that may occur for seemingly trivial reasons.
Secondly: auctioneer overload and tolerance:
This method of dealing no less dangerous than the cruelty and rigor .. Overvalued care and pampering
Will
Child is unable to form successful social relationships with others, or take responsibility and face
Life
... Because he did not pass enough experiences to learn from how to face the events that might be exposed to ... Does not mean
Parents to lose sympathy with the child and his mercy, and this can not be happening because their hearts Mvtoran love
Their children, and parental rooted emotions innate to protect him, and show compassion and pity and concern about it.
.. But this passion sometimes become the cause of the destruction of their children, where the parents deal with the child spoiled
Plus
And indulgence pretext paper hearts and their love for their child, making the child believe that everything is allowed and not
There's nothing forbidden
, Because that's what he finds in his small environment (home), but if they grew up and went to the big environment (community
) And faced the laws and regulations that would prevent him from committing certain acts, rebelled at her opposers
Blithely ... Throwing out the negative consequences Almkhafatth wall.
We do not demand that the parents of their hearts tend mercy on the contrary required Varahma, but
Balance and warned.
Said peace be upon him: "not one of us who did not have mercy on our young ones and knows the right of our old ones", would not it be us
Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him like?
Third: volatility in the transaction:
A child needs to know what is expected of him, so the adults to put simple systems and regulations
Logical
And child Icherhoha, and when it is convinced it will be easy for him to follow ... And must be reviewed
Systems with
Child and discussion of each period, it should not be lenient days in the application of the law and ignore it and then go back
The next day
To emphasize the need to apply the same law because this might cause confusion for the child and it is
Capable
Determine what is acceptable, what is unacceptable and in some cases the mother is stable at all times
While
Father contrary, and this volatility and differences between the parents, the child makes is under psychological pressure
Highly paid
To commit the error.
Fourth: lack of justice between the brothers:
Adults sometimes deals with brothers without justice prefer a child to child, for his intelligence or beauty or good
Created innate
, Or because he said, which is grown in the same child a sense of jealousy towards his brothers, and expresses these jealousy
Behavior
Wrong and aggressive toward Brother spoiled in order to take revenge on adults, and this Prophet warned us against
God
Him, where he said: Peace be upon him "Fear Allah and treat your children."
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